


Told You

by angel_wing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Human Castiel, Jealousy, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-25 13:28:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2623418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_wing/pseuds/angel_wing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was <i>not</i> the way he intended it to be. Honestly. All he did was ask his best friend if he’s sure of the choice he was making. That’s it. It was all about Cas’ wellbeing, because that’s what friends do – care about each other, right? It’s not his fault that Castiel took his concern as something totally different and was now yelling at him that <i>he, Dean Winchester</i> just ruined Cas’ life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> That's just late night writing. There will be more obviously, I just don't know when.

It was _not_ the way he intended it to be. Honestly. All he did was ask his best friend if he’s sure of the choice he was making. That’s it. It was all about Cas’ wellbeing, because that’s what friends do – care about each other, right? It’s not his fault that Castiel took his concern as something totally different and was now yelling at him that _he, Dean Winchester_ just ruined Cas’ life.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Castiel yelled.

“I wasn’t -”

“Well, you seem to do that a lot,” Castiel cut him off angrily.

Dean closed his mouth with a loud click, his brows furrowing in raising anger. “Hey, don’t get mad at me! I’m just the messenger here!”

“Just the-,” Castiel huffed, clearly annoyed. “Dean,” he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose to try to calm himself down. “I survived through every one of your tirades about how was I going to ruin my life. I listened to every complain, to every crazy idea you had, and proved them all wrong. I thought we agreed that this topic was over. That you were over it.”

“I was! Am. I want you to be happy, Cas,” Dean said, standing closer to his friend.

“Then why are you doing this?” Castiel asked.

“I just needed you to know, to see the whole picture before you decide,” Dean said.

“I have already decided!” Castiel shouted at him.

“Cas, I care about y-”

“No you don’t,” Castiel snapped, moving to stand in front of Dean and jabbing him in the chest with his index finger. “You can’t stand it that I’m moving on and you’re still at square one.”

“What?” Dean asked incredulous. “You think I’m jealous?”

“Yes, I think you are, Dean.”

Dean was speechless for one second but then he snapped, pushing Cas’ hand away. “You know what? Fuck you! Fuck this whole thing! Do what you want, but don’t come running to me with your tail between your legs when the shit hits the fan!”

“Wow, you can be such a baby!” Castiel spat. “So now you suddenly don’t care? You should have kept your mouth shut before you came and ruined my life!”

“Why do you keep blaming me?” Dean shouted back. “I’m not the bad guy!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. You are the knight in shining armor that’s been sent to nag me for months that my boyfriend is a “lying prick”, though you had no proof, because "the sneaky bastard" was "too clever to get caught". And now you tell me that he had _finally_ cheated on me, because, God bless, you think you saw him in a strip club you visit so frequently!” Castiel said, his voice rising with every spoken word. “That’s something every man wants to hear on their _wedding day_!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but it's kind of live writing. I don't know where this is going just yet.  
> Okay, I know a bit.

After a few more minutes of shouting at each other Dean stormed out of his kitchen, then the house, slamming the front door so hard it made Castiel clench his teeth.

 _Immature assbutt_ , Castiel thought to himself. He was furious. This was supposed to be his big day and Dean went and destroyed it not minding Castiel’s feelings!

There was a quiet, irritating voice inside his head telling him he’s being unfair, but he muffled it quickly. There’s no way Castiel was going to let it go. Not today. Not after he yelled at his best friend that he doesn’t want anything to do with him. There was a long, heavy pause after Castiel’s words, but he didn’t take them back. After what seemed like an hour Dean spat “fine” and left his house. _Dean’s_ house. It was extremely uncomfortable to be left alone after such a huge fight that ended their friendship, and not even being at your own home.

 _Friendship_ , Castiel thought bitterly. He knew Dean since he could remember. They were inseparable! Always making pranks together, getting into trouble together, laughing and playing, and talking, and…

Castiel stopped this train of thoughts. It hurt to realize that he lost his friend, that there will never be a “together” anymore. Sure, someone would say that they could talk it out, discuss all the differences between them and the problem is solved! No. Castiel had his pride. And right now the other, much louder voice was telling him that no matter how insecure about his weeding he was and despite agreeing with Dean deep down inside, he was _never_ going to admit it.

Castiel sighed and looked through the kitchen’s window. The garden looked beautiful. Trees with autumn-brown leaves, orange and yellow lanterns hanging along short path at the end of which he was supposed to be wed. There were people sitting beside the altar, rest of them standing in front of three-story cake, covered in purple icing and decorated with chocolate leaves. Dean did a really good job in preparing this day for him.

Castiel let his head fall forward and lightly hit the window glass.

“Hey, um Cas?”

Castiel turned around to face Dean’s younger brother, Sam. He stood in the door to the kitchen, looking unsure, like he was afraid Castiel would snap at him. He couldn’t blame him though, after all he practically just threw his brother out of his own house.

“Yes, Sam?” Castiel asked and was surprised how gravely his voice sounded. Just as if he was… oh yeah, _yelling_. He cringed at his thoughts.

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked not moving from his spot.

“I’m…”

_Angry, devastated, betrayed, furious, lonely, scared…_

“I’m okay,” he finally said.

Sam was looking at him with sadness and compassion in his eyes, just as if he could guess his thoughts exactly. “Would you like me to send the guests home?”

“No, thank you. I’ll talk to them myself.”

There was no denying in cancelling the wedding today. Even if everything was alright Castiel was in such a bad mood even he wouldn’t marry himself today. The thing is, Dean might have been a little right in his suspicions about Balthazar – Castiel’s husband-to-be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I didn't think it would get any hits at all, let alone kudos. You definitely surprised me ;]


	3. Chapter 3

You can’t end up a lifelong friendship with one heated argument now can you? But if Cas wants it to end then Dean would do it for him, consider it an act of good will. Truth be told, Dean was too vain to admit to a mistake. After all he wasn’t sure if it was Balthazar he saw making out with that pair in the strip club two days ago. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was being thrown out of the place Dean would have come back and check it properly. Without that all he had was just an unconfirmed suspicion.

Ever since they met Dean had felt that Balthazar was using Cas, but his best friend was blinded with affection. Dean refused to think that Cas was in love with Balthazar, it was easier to live with an embarrassment of ruining _some_ relationship, than the guilt of ending a _truelove_ story.

“Great, Winchester. You’ve hurt him either way,” he mumbled to himself.

Guilt was eating him up from inside. The worst thing was that the wedding was supposed to be at his house and now Dean was left wandering around the neighbourhood. There was no way he was going back home just yet, Cas was probably still there, packing away wedding gifts and giving excuses to their friends… Or maybe they did marry after all?

It was such a beautiful, sunny October day, warm but not too hot, perfect for a wedding. _Fucking autumn with it’s colorful leaves._

********************************************

“Do you love me?”

“What?”

“Do you love me?” Castiel repeated.

“Of course, darling,” Balthazar replied. He was lounging on the couch in Dean’s living room, while Castiel tried to fit their wedding cake back into its box.

“Say it,” Castiel demanded, abandoning the cake and focusing only on his fiancé.

“Why?” Balthazar asked. There was something defensive in his behavior that made Castiel want to press the issue even more.

“Because! Because you love me and care about me, and you would do everything for me,” Castiel said and more quietly added, “right?”

Balthazar stood up from the couch and made his way to stand directly in front of him. Then he circled his arms around Castiel and hugged him. They stood embraced for few seconds before Balthazar whispered “You know I do, sweetheart. You are the most… lovely and beautiful being in the world.”

“Why do you want to marry me?” Castiel’s voice was a little muffled by Balthazar’s shoulder.

“Ah, so many questions!” Balthazar sighed dramatically while releasing Castiel and going out to the kitchen.

“You didn’t answer,” Castiel said following him. He was getting annoyed with Balthazar bypassing his questions.

“Isn’t that obvious?” he asked pouring himself a drink.

“It used to be,” Castiel pouted.

Balthazar sighed and this time it sounded more real, like there really was something bothering him. “Cassie, darling, what do you want me to tell you?” he asked, this time keeping the distance.

Castiel shifted on his feet. What did he really wanted to hear? That Balthazar was love struck? That Castiel was his whole world?

“I want you to be honest with me, Balthazar,” Castiel said and then asked before he lost his courage, “Am I the only one?”

He could guess the answer, yet he was nervous. Somehow hearing it would make it more real and he feared it. But there was no going back.

“No.”


	4. Chapter 4

After admitting that he lied to him Balthazar walked to Castiel, probably to apologize, maybe to soothe him, but Castiel turned away from him. He didn’t want to face the man that hurt him so much. But it wasn’t only Balthazar’s fault. Castiel let himself get lured into false sense of security, not willing to acknowledge any signs of infidelity or wrongness of their relationship. Yet, was it his fault that he was lonely and sought intimacy?

They didn’t fight, shout or insult each other. They didn’t speak at all. They both knew the case was already lost, so why would they try to pretend it wasn’t? Castiel didn’t think it would end up this way, not really. He thought he could trust Balthazar, he thought he was happy and that he loved him. But when he thought about it really hard Castiel realized that he never imagined his future with Balthazar. He planned their wedding, yes, but beyond that? _Nothing_ , like his life would just end there; and somehow it would. His previous life as he knows it would have ended on the day of their wedding. After the ceremony and a short party with few of their friends they were supposed to leave for their honeymoon and never come back to Lawrence again. Balthazar got a really well paid job and he was going to take Castiel with him to London. Castiel would have to leave everything behind…

His things were already packed, waiting in the rented car to be driven to the airport. Sam offered him one of the guests rooms, but Castiel refused. He didn’t want to be a bother to him or his brother, although he could really use a friend right now. Dean was still absent after the fight they had. It amused Castiel that he missed his friend much more than he did his lover.

“You sure you don’t want to stay?” Sam asked another time.

“Yes, Sam, I’m sure,” Castiel said fasting his seatbelt. “I will stay in a hotel room and tomorrow…”

And what? What was he supposed to do tomorrow? He had no house or job, everything he did have was in the car that wasn’t even his.

“I will be fine,” he said, more to himself than to Sam.

Sam nodded his head, “Take care, Cas.”

“I will.”

And he drove off.

**************************************************************************************************** 

Dean’s cell phone rang again; _Sam_ , the caller ID said. He didn’t answer it, just like he didn’t answer five previous calls, he wanted to be alone. Losing your friend, your best friend, was something you have to grieve about alone. Dean knew he wasn’t loosing Cas forever, that they would still talk over the phone or Skype, but that wouldn’t be the same. Long distance relationships never last.

That day when Castiel told him that after his wedding he will move out to England with that douche Balthazar was the worst day of Dean’s life, probably equally bad as the one when his parents died. Dean was devastated and he avoided Castiel for few days, afraid that he’d say something he’ll later regret, before he decided to just grin and bear it for Cas’ sake. He didn’t imagine how high the price would be for him to pay. Funny thing that after all he _did_ say things he now regrets, but once again he’s going to respect Castiel’s will.

Not being able to ignore his brother’s constant calling Dean answered the call with an exasperated huff, “What’s so important, Sam?”

“Dean! Cas had an accident!”


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel was tired of Dean's accusations towards Balthazar and he was glad he wouldn't have to wonder any more whether they were correct or no, because now he knew for sure. One problem thick-checked of the list, too bad Castiel's list of problems was long. He had to find a job and a place to live, preferably near the new-found job, but that still didn't define where. It would be best if Castiel moved away from Kansas anyway, but he knew he wouldn't leave Dean, now that his only excuse vanished along with the called off wedding.

He sighed loosening his iron grip on the steering wheel. Why was this so complicated? Why couldn't things get back to what they were, when life was beautiful and full of daisies? Back to when Castiel’s only problem was of Dean finding out about dreams and desires he wrote down in his journal. Castiel smiled to himself, he remembered how petrified he was when Dean did found out about them and by extension about Castiel’s homosexuality. He was afraid Dean would loathe him and wouldn’t want to be friends with him anymore. He knew Dean’s father was very strict and raised Dean with a strong hand, but as it turned out Castiel didn’t have to worry, Dean assured him that nothing will ever ruin their friendship. They were fourteen back then.

And now? Castiel was driving away, leaving behind his ex best friend he swore he will never abandon. Grief squeezed his heart in a painful grip. He heard a quiet voice somewhere in the back of his head, telling him that he should go back, that they can still fix this, but he silenced it, focusing instead on torturing himself with a sentence his father used to repeat: “ _there are no second chances”._

Castiel sighed again, being so deep in his sour thoughts and not existing plans that he didn't register entering the crossing on the red light. He didn't see the truck coming from his right, nor did he hear its horn. The next thing he knew was that something very heavy hit his newly rented car, making it spin and roll few times to finally land on its roof.

He heard voices, someone was shouting, but it sounded far away or as if he was underwater. Castiel blinked, slowly looking around.  _Huh,_ he thought,  _there goes the deposit._

And with that one thought in mind Castiel's consciousness was gone.

*************************************************************************************

Dean's stomach dropped to his knees and his mind slowed to a full stop, probably along with his heart.  He must have heard Sam wrong, there was no other explanation.

"Hhr-" he cleared his throat and tried again. "What did you just say?"

"Cas! He had a car crash. I'm at the hospital..."

His brother was still talking, but Dean didn't hear him at all. Cas had an accident, a car crash. Suddenly both Dean's mind and heart switched to full speed, his head was spinning and his heart beat so fast he thought it's going to burst out of his chest. He started to suffocate and realized he's been holding his breath.  _This wasn't true,_  he told himself,  _I must have fallen asleep and this is just a dream, a nightmare, nothing more._

"Dean? Dean, are you still there?" his brother asked concerned.

"Yes, I'm... Where is he?"

"Lawrence Memorial Hospital," Sam said.

"I'll be there in ten," Dean said, turning to run back to his house.

"Dean?" 

"Yeah?" he breathed as he started to jog.

"Don't drive over the speed limit, you can't help him now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, sorry you had to wait so long.  
> Comments would be very appreciated ;]


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'll update it soon but life stole my whole attention and time. But now you have it and I'll try to post more frequently.

He didn’t listen to Sam. He didn’t know how he managed to get to the hospital in one piece, but Dean drove over all speed limits.

He burst into the hospital, almost knocking over few people that were trying to exit.

“Dean!” Sam’s voice caught his attention. “Over here!”

Sam was standing at the end of the corridor and Dean jogged over to him.

“Where is he?” Dean asked him immediately.

“He’s in surgery.”

“I need to see him.”

“Dean, Castiel’s having a surgery,” Sam said slowly, as if he was explaining it to a child, “They won’t let you in now.”

Sam was right, Dean knew that, but the urge to see Cas, to find out how he was feeling and what happened was stronger than Dean’s common sense. There were questions he desperately wanted to know the answers to, good thing his brother was here to reason him.

Suddenly Dean’s mind supplied him a thought that created a whole new set of questions and planted doubts in his still racing heart – why was Sam the first person to be called for when Cas was brought to the hospital? Was his brother’s number first on Castiel’s emergency list? And the most important, why Dean’s number wasn’t?

“Why are you here?” Dean heard himself ask.

“What do you mean?” Sam furrowed his brows looking confused.

“I mean, why did they call for you and not me?” Dean asked standing a bit more straight, subconsciously making himself look bigger.

“What?”

“You heard me!” Dean said, losing his temper and raising his voice. “Just answer the damn question!”

Upon hearing Dean’s outburst few nurses send alarmed glances their way.

“Are you serious?” Sam asked indignant, now also raising his voice in anger. “What is wrong with you, Dean? Your friend had an accident! He’s fighting for his life right now and you ask me why I was here while you wandered somewhere avoiding my calls?!”

Sam looked totally sickened with his older brother and Dean felt guilty. That feeling accompanied him quite a lot lately, mostly it was his fault. Okay, it was totally his fault.

“I’m sorry but you’ll have to leave the hospital.”

While they were arguing the nurses must have called the security and now two really big security guards were standing beside them and pointing at the front door.

“You must be fucking kidding me,” Dean groaned.

The guard only stared at him.

“But our friend is here,” Sam said. “We need to know if he’s alright.”

“Out,” the guard simply said.

Dean wanted to argue more, but one of the guards grabbed his arm, twisted it on his back and literally dragged him out of the hospital, the other guard following close behind with Sam treated in similar way. Both brothers were thrown out, the doors slapping shut behind them. Dean sighed and sat down at the curb.

“He forgot his phone.”

“Huh?” Dean turned his head to see Sam sitting down beside him.

“Cas. He forgot his phone. I’ve wanted to catch him before he drove too far,” Sam said not looking at him. “Jess offered her car, since you took Impala’s keys with you when you stormed out.”

They sat there in silence, both processing all that happened today. It was almost dark outside, the dusk coming quicker those days.

“I saw it happen,” Sam continued. “He drove into the crossing on red light, not slowing down even a little bit, just as if he-” Sam stopped, his voice breaking a bit. “As if he wanted to-”

Another wave of guilt run through Dean. He shouldn’t leave Sam with all the crap Dean was responsible for and accuse him of… He didn’t even know how to call it.

“Sam, I-” he started, but was cut off by a female voice.

“Hey! Why aren’t you boys inside?”

Jess was standing over them.

“We were thrown out,” Sam said.

“Thrown out? What did you do?” she turned her question directly to Dean.

“Me? I didn’t do anything!” he said defensively.

“Of course, you never do!”

“What is your point exactly?” Dean asked standing up.

“My point is that you have to work on your tact and timing, Dean!” Jess said.

“Give him a break, Jess,” Sam said. “He’s been through a lot today too.”

Jess looked like she wanted to say more, but decided to leave him alone as Sam asked her to do. “Fine. I’m going to find out how’s Cas and you two… try not to get into trouble.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
